Dia 326

I've had strange dreams lately, and felt somehow strange. I've been listening to too much music, reading too many ideas that are not mine, and it's making me reconsider the value of my contributions to this world. Today I watched MTV for 5 minutes and came to the conclusion that the Syndrome of Importance has slowly, gradually been replaced by the Syndrome of Individuality. People do want to feel different from the rest, don't they? I'm starting to think that for many people this is what's worth fighting for - uniqueness, onliness... loneliness forgive me, but what a bore to be the one and only! The other day a guy from a shitty band told me that everything is a matter of money - even in music. He told me that nowadays there are call centres which are hired to call the radio stations and music programmes all day long asking for a song to be played again; that bands need to pay a lot of money for their songs to play on the radio; that all these music awards are deeply corrupted. Yeah, we've seen Radiohead's Creep, Silverchair's Im a freak, while Pitty has asked you to be yourself even though it's bizarre - and what a bizarre song by the way -, but I don't know... I look around and wait for someone to come and save me, for something to rescue me from this strange system surrounding my steps, this mechanic way of life dragging me down with no mercy, day after day. I don't know what I want to do, who I wanna be, and I guess struggling to be different sounds as pathetic as settling down and living like everybody else. Then I listened to this song and I figured: this is exactly what I'd like to sing to my consciousness...