quarta-feira, 16 de dezembro de 2009

OD

I
.
Hi. My name's Erin and I'm a junkie.
(pause)
Very well... would you like to talk about it?
What do you mean?
Would you like to mention the nature of your addiction?
Why not? I'm a love addict.
(laughter)
Sorry, but I can't help laughing myself! Do you mind being a bit more... specific?
You're such a wanker! I knew I shouldn't have...
Wait! Sorry, I didn't mean to... sorry, but you'll have to agree that it's at least unusual, right? Calm down, please go back to your seat.
(pause)
OK, go on. I'll try to follow.
.
II
.
I always thought I was different. Love has always made such a difference... I don't mean non-stop hugging and kissing, but real love - that energy. I was 7 or 8 when I first felt it. I used to steal stuff from my classmates at school, just for the fun of it. I would always return what I had stolen, on the same day, but the adrenaline of taking something without anybody noticing it was priceless! One day, obviously, I got caught, and the supervisor called my mom. On my way home all I could possibly think about was excuses. Loads of them, in all sizes and colours. Before I could say anything, however, my mom looked at me. Softly. Gently. Deeply. I'll never forget that look. "I'm sorry, I should have taught you that this is wrong. Whenever you want something, talk to me and we'll work it out". That was it. My whole body shivered. I felt so much light, so much energy, that it filled me like a drug. After this day, I just wanted to feel it again. Again. Again. I would do anything. I did all kinds of things to get it, to find it, to be exposed to it, to be filled up, warm, safe. I tried. Oh, yes, sir, for years and years I tried. The bad thing about it is that money won't do. You cannot go under the bridge and ask for a shot. I was desperate for some time, and even got to that point when you don't want the following days to unfold. Time went by; I found out that my body could give me what I wanted. I offered it to everybody I could and searched into my partners' vulnerability. Sometimes I even dared to ask, but I got no more than tiny drops pouring down on my face every now and then. That's what you get when you have no other way, no other choice. I was on the verge of threatening someone to love me, but before I did a nice fellow decided to come along, deliberately, absolutely out of nowhere... That's what you can call good times...
(pause)
(coffee & cigarettes)
Uh... excuse me, but what I don't understand is why you want to give it up then. I mean, being loved must feel quite nice, init? Specially for you, who has sought after it so desperately...
Every addiction is a curse, don't you know that? Besides, I've OD'ed.
(deep silence)
(sigh)
(cough)
OK... let's hear it.
Some other time.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe. I'd really like to tell you everything, because you're the only one who can help me.
(pause)
(cigarette)
Fair enough.
Tomorrow.
It's a deal.
.
III
.
Brand new day... shoot.
Where do I start?
The OD...
Oh, yes. There's not much to say.
I'm trying to picture it...
(cigarette)
Was it the nice fella?
No, somebody else.
How did it happen?
A hug.
(blank look)
(gasp)
(coffee spitting)
So what you're saying is that a guy hugged you and you OD'ed?
Exactly.
All right... Who was this guy?
Just somebody I knew. A friend.
(coffee sip)
I'm kidding. It was you.
(15-sec pause)
What the heck do you mean, it was me?
Exactly that.
And what's it like, to have a love OD?
Better than multiple orgasms.
How did you know...
Because the moment you hugged me, I couldn't hear or feel anything else. I didn't know where I was, I didn't see anyone. My body stopped obeying my commands. It was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
(quick pause)
Thanks for the way you made me feel with a single abraço.
Now I'm really confused... How in heavens can I help you then? Would you like me to hug you for the rest of your life? Or maybe we could go further and see what happens...
Actually, I was considering something even better - I'd like you to break my heart.
Wha...
C'mon, you've done it before... it's not that hard, is it? Even though I know you'll be lying.
Oh, really?
Yes. We both know the way you feel about me.
Is that so?
Yes. But it's pointless now, so I don't care: lie to me.
...
Lie to me and make me think it's true.
My God! You're insane! Are you out of your mind?
I'm getting married.
And now this...
I'm not kidding. I'm getting married.
(pause)
(shock)
Really?
Yes.
Wow... I didn't see it coming...
And...
What?
Well...
What can I say? I'm quite happy for you and your husband, and I wish you all the very best, my dear.
Thank you.
.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxERIN'S WINDOW IS CLOSED.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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