Butterfly effect

I was talking non-stop, as if it was my last time to say something. My ideas were overflowing, I couldn't keep them inside. That was the moment to take each and every single thing off my chest. I knew she would pay attention. Well, let's go back a little bit. She was a really nice girl who soon became my friend. She understood me, and it just felt so right to be with her, to experience the calmness and inner peace I felt whenever she was next to me. Her voice was soft and there was something special about her accent. She had a troubled mind, she meant trouble, that's for sure, and still I felt so good when we were together. At ease. We could talk about anything. She would listen to me and everything I said seemed to have an effect on her. She believed in me. She liked my smile and my hands, she laughed at my silly jokes and she made me laugh as well. I could be myself - no tricks, no games, just that old fellow who made me proud deep inside. I was so confused... I needed comfort, she gave it to me. One day she told me she liked me and that's when things started getting a bit akward. I decided to stay away for a while. I stopped taking her calls, I didn't reply to her e-mails. One day I woke up and thought "Come on, she's a nice girl. If I tell her what she's doing wrong, maybe she'll act differently and things might get better between us". We planned to meet in front of a popular pub. It took us some time to find each other, the place was really crowded. I hadn't seen her for quite some time, and I was determined to tell her how I felt, I wanted to say it all. She asked me to sit next to her for a while. That's all she asked. She was visibly drunk, and all she wanted was to stay there, in silence, arm in arm, head on my shoulder. She was nice, but also a fucked-up human being! A real mess. I wanted to show her how selfish she was. I wanted her to understand that she wasn't being wise, that I would never be attracted to a person who was always saying "I don't care", whose best words were "here and now". Didn't I have enough problems already? The more she wanted from me, the less I felt like giving. That's it, I thought. We can't even be friends anymore, I can't cope with the unstable, the unknown, the unexpected. Suddenly, I glanced at her. She was smiling. I kept staring at her. I couldn't say a word. I had never seen such an evil smile before. I was trully scared. She looked at me, stood up and started singing "You're so vain", her eyes full of hate. Then she came real close, kissed me on both cheeks and got on the first bus. From the window, she screamed at the top of her lungs "You're a selfish mother-fucker!" and even had time to show me the finger. I was paralised. I didn't know what to do, where to go. I was in shock, completely alone in a damn cold night. Penniless. Motionless. Humiliated. All the worst words came to my mind. I felt so angry and hurt I couldn't even cry. I kept thinking about her long after that.