I understand the problems in the world we live in... but I don't want this to be my world. All I want is to love and be loved as though there was no tomorrow, to feel this love, so free of guilt or interest, free of conventions, free of the idea that love comes from the flesh, that my looks and my wit shall guarantee how much and how long I am to be loved. All I ever wanted was love without questions or promises, something to call real, to call mine, to bring me calm and courage. I would wait for it, I know I would simply because it would be worth waiting. I believe we need to share the most beautiful feelings!
Yesterday I finished reading another book by my favourite author, and there were two fantastic narratives which, as usual, have made me realize so much about my own character. In the first one, the narrator is cruel to his wife meaning the opposite, and he imagines the way she feels about him and is so convinced by it that when things turn out completely different - the truth is that the way he treated her has made any kind of good feeling disappear - he just can't understand what went wrong. She ends up in a coffin; he ends up by her side, tears in his eyes, reassessing why things couldn't be any different. It was called A gentle creature.
In the second one, The dream of a ridiculous man, the narrator is considered ridiculous because he feels indifferent to the world, so indifferent that one morning he wakes up and decides to kill himself just to have a different day. On this same day, he comes across a little poor girl who he mistreats, goes back home and has a dream - in this dream, the world was pure and crowded with innocent and beautiful creatures, but as he comes along, he spreads evil all over the place. He is so ridiculous that when he asks to be crucified to pay for all the harm he's done, people laugh at him. So ridiculous that when he preaches about unconditional love, he's considered mentally ill - just ridiculous.
This world that we see, this is not where I stand. I stand on clouds of mercy; I'm embraced by a constant understanding that love is all we have left, a key to a secret universe. I can't have children, and I think somebody is going to tell me that sooner or later. The consequence? Maybe a limited life, I don't know. All I shall always want is pure love pumping through my veins, that's all that matters. So I guess I'll wait, live a little, love in all sorts of possible ways... and see what happens.
Yesterday I finished reading another book by my favourite author, and there were two fantastic narratives which, as usual, have made me realize so much about my own character. In the first one, the narrator is cruel to his wife meaning the opposite, and he imagines the way she feels about him and is so convinced by it that when things turn out completely different - the truth is that the way he treated her has made any kind of good feeling disappear - he just can't understand what went wrong. She ends up in a coffin; he ends up by her side, tears in his eyes, reassessing why things couldn't be any different. It was called A gentle creature.
In the second one, The dream of a ridiculous man, the narrator is considered ridiculous because he feels indifferent to the world, so indifferent that one morning he wakes up and decides to kill himself just to have a different day. On this same day, he comes across a little poor girl who he mistreats, goes back home and has a dream - in this dream, the world was pure and crowded with innocent and beautiful creatures, but as he comes along, he spreads evil all over the place. He is so ridiculous that when he asks to be crucified to pay for all the harm he's done, people laugh at him. So ridiculous that when he preaches about unconditional love, he's considered mentally ill - just ridiculous.
This world that we see, this is not where I stand. I stand on clouds of mercy; I'm embraced by a constant understanding that love is all we have left, a key to a secret universe. I can't have children, and I think somebody is going to tell me that sooner or later. The consequence? Maybe a limited life, I don't know. All I shall always want is pure love pumping through my veins, that's all that matters. So I guess I'll wait, live a little, love in all sorts of possible ways... and see what happens.
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